I wish I didn’t have to pretend to have experienced things to feel like I belong somewhere. I always brush it off. The fact that I’ve never been in a relationship or experiencing things all the other people my age are. Like how the hell is something not wrong with me? It started in middle school when my friends would be talking to guys and talking about the things they are going through. I didn’t have any news to tell my friends. I’m the friend that listens while my friends go on and on about her issues about this guy. God! At least they freaking talk to you!
There’s nothing more humbling about being a girl around a group of people you don’t know having to tell your first kiss story… you know the one that actually never happened. But they can’t know about that right? I’d just become the pity party or the center of attention, because how can you be this old without having your first kiss? So yes. I lied. I made up a story about how my first kiss happened.
It’s not common to find someone in a similar circumstance unless it’s on social media. I can’t even think of one person I know who is around my age and never had their first kiss or relationship. To sum it all up it feels very lonesome to deal with feelings like this. It is just so rare to have someone relate. I can only take advice from someone who has experienced love but at the same time they just don’t understand the feeling.
